Insults to Injuries

This time baby I'll be bulletproof. That's how I felt on my last visit home. Looking back its as if I have all these war wounds that have now made me the person I am today.

I'm nearing my three year anniversary in New England and each time I go home I am less and less tempted to ever move back. I miss my family and close friends, don't get me wrong. But the bible belt is intense. To call it a different way of life would belittle its varied array of misgivings. Morals, outlooks, and beliefs are held in such different regards. The underlying theme is Christianity. Okay. That's cool. I like that. But then it becomes something that you wear upon your sleeve. When I lived there and during my adolescence I thought, this is how you know that you believe because you are shouting from your rooftops all of your personal beliefs and putting your "personal" relationship with JC out there for everyone to see. This is what made it real.

So I thought.

This last homecoming trip something clicked. It was different. I met up with a few friends that I grew up with going to Church with and it was interesting that during both reunions within the first 5 minutes they had brought up church. Either mentioned their own church, referenced the church that we had grown up going to, or asked me if I had found a church yet. I realized that it had been nearly 2 and a half years since I had a conversation with someone (other than my parents) in which I was cornered about my involvement in the church. It seems like no one around here really brings up the topic on purpose, although every now and then it will come out. But it is only matter of fact. It is never in protest or to boost one's self-image. It is just a thing. Its not the ONLY thing either.

It is hard to tell how extreme the bible belt really is in comparison since there are so many of the catholic and jewish faith in this area.

It wasn't just this religious epiphany that made me not miss my hometown quite as much, it was a multitude of other instances that took place during the course of that weekend.

As mentioned before my Boston buddies had flown into town to meet me. We had made plans to attend the Beer, Bourbon, and BBQ fest for the second year in a row. Although this year we had brought along an additional Boston buddy and the weekend did not play out as one might have hoped. He was pushy and aggressive all weekend long. He fought back about every item that we had on our itinerary (or lack thereof). The originals had come to Charlotte to see my previous pathways. They were hoping to follow in some of my footsteps, see the things that I had grown up with and the places I had frequented. We definitely did not have on our radar wild nights out on the town in Charlotte, North Carolina. The new addition, however, did. He had conjured up this idea that going out on the town in Charlotte would be a fun excursion for all of us. He neglected the fact that two our of our four barely drank or went out and that two nights out on the town in a row in addition to a day of drinking at the beer and bourbon fest might have just knocked the wind out of them. He also paid no attention to the fact that the gay crowd in my hometown is one of the most miserable and pathetic bunch of a-holes and what that might feel like for me to have to spend more time around them than I would ever like to for the rest of my life. He was inconsiderate and rude. He has this way of making others feel bad when he is the one that wants to go against the grain. This trip really helped solidify for me things that I had felt brewing between us. No drama whatsoever, just an inkling that this guy was just not the type of friend I was hoping for in my collection of long term friends.

On our second night out I was miserable. My fault. I get it. I am the owner of my own destiny.

So I bumped into this guy Josh that I had been friends with in college. We had originally met on a date and I ended the date with a "we'd be better as just friends". We hung out often but it was always some sort of awkward. He might have had too much to drink and when dropping me off at my apartment would ask "should I come up?"

Dude. No.

So on our second nights' outing we bumped into Josh. We were at the bar that was formerly known by another name (As most ill-financially planned gay bars are) and I was already subject to the reminiscing of good times gone bad from my past immature misadventures in Gay Charlotte. I introduced him to my friends and in typical Charlotte Gay fashion he said hello to them with his hands. He touched their chests and he touched their arms saying "so nice to meet you". It was one of the most disgusting displays I have ever seen. I let it slide the first few times but then pestering Josh listened in to our conversation of where we might go to next. I made it a point to tell the boys not to let him in on our destination but much to my dismay Josh overheard us regardless. Sure enough he was at the next (and more than likely only other open gay bar on a Saturday night in Charlotte, North Carolina). I was standing with New Addition, One Original Boston Buddy and Josh when Josh began talking to New Addition with his hands again. He was commenting on New Additions tattoos or something like this grabbing onto his bicep along the way. I stepped back and said "You know, Josh, I'm sure [New Addition] would prefer if you wouldn't fondle him as you speak"

Josh took a moment to pause. Stepped back away from me and looked me up and down. Immediately I fell back in time to the days when I lived in Charlotte. I regressed and realized that I understood what was about to take place since I was highly educated on the primal rituals of the Charlotte Gay Male. I prepared myself and told him, "Go ahead Josh, look me up and down and figure out what you want to say about me," and he did...

"I thought you were all into fitness, but what are you pregnant?"

As soon as the words registered in my mind, without pause I stepped in to him. New Addition and Boston Buddy Original excused themselves silently as they understood what was about to transpire.

"You know what.
Josh.
I didn't say shit.
about you.
that was so ridiculously uncalled for.
whenI did
NOTHING to cut you down.
that's why I am glad to be done with this miserable town.
all that you miserable Charlotte fags want to do.
is cut one another down.
when what you should be doing is helping each other out.
(at this point Josh tried to put his hand on my shoulder, and started with "I'm sorry, I didn't mean...")
No. get your fucking hand off of me and get the fuck out of my face.
you charlotte fags can stay here being fucking rude to one another cause I'm done with you miserable assholes.

I left him speechless.

Id like to think that after 2 years of being in Massachusetts some of their flair for the dramatic has worn off on me. I know for sure that I would have never had the audacity to tell someone off that way before moving away from Charlotte. It felt good to call him out.

Thats how the gay "community" down there behaves. They either are caddy because of years of Designing Women reruns or they are all incestuously trampy with one another. Its as if they have only seen gay people in movies or TV shows and that is their only source for knowing how to act.

You would think in a place like the bible belt that as the strap gets tighter, loop by loop a small subculture like the Charlotte Gays might come up with a better strategy for sticking together rather than adding insults to injury (literally!).