Spring Has Sprung

OMG in full effect. To say that spring has sprung is by far an understatement. Judging from my trek home yesterday alone the boys have caught wind of a heavy and high spring fever! I stopped at the gym first and was checked out by two VERY handsome guys although they seemed to be a couple which was a bit disheartening but a compliment nonetheless.

While waiting to take the redline home from Central to Davis another guy waiting was scoping me out. It was one of those awkward checkouts though where you couldn't obviously tell whether or not he was or was not. It messes with your nerves because you know not whether to send out the vibes or to not make eye contact because he could either give you his number or decide to knife you for your wallet.

We sat across from one another on the train and I was about to give up when he got off at Harvard but when he stood to leave he looked directly at me and offered "Have a good night" with a nod and a wink.

I hurried out of the Davis square station in an effort to make it to Chipotle for a late dinner seeing as how it was 9:55 and they closed at 10PM. "Please be open, Please be open, please don't have put away all of your delicious ingredients" I thought to myself as I scurried in and out of the crowd inside the station. I made it just in time.

With burrito in hand I made my way home. I passed another handsome man that was also in a hurried effort. He glanced over at me and caught me mid-check out. I smiled and looked away, embarrassed (almost, but not really). He double took me himself and smiled back. We both continued checking each other out and I laughed out loud with flirtational intent. I shook my head. Not at him but more at myself. I find myself funny. It happens often. Whether you agree or not. I am a whole heap of laughs. You should be so lucky as to be a fly on the wall of my life.

Anyway. He kept doubling back to look at me as he crossed the street. He almost got hit by a Masshole but hey, that's what happens when the spring has sprung.

Somebody to Love

Don't you want somebody to love? We all do. For the most part. I am starting to think maybe I am not capable of pursuing this. It is a possibility. I dated this guy for "a while" three weeks or so. Yeah, I know that is not a long time but it REALLY does not take me long to a) lose my attention and/or b) realize that nothing will come of it. This is a curse/gift that I have had since i first started dating.

I call it the "One Month Itch" because typically this is how long most if not all of the guys I have ever dated have lasted. This is what I refer to as a "long-term relationship" otherwise known to the gay community by website standard as an "LTR".

This last guy was a bit different. Things got kind of intense, kind of fast, because of very serious topics that were discussed in the preliminary stages of the getting-to-know-you process. I had very strong feelings for him but as many of my closest friends know I tend to let my mind wander and I think WAY too much about the what ever will bes, will bes and include all of the mights and maybes. It is dumb.

I picture these guys in the snapshots of my future. What do our Sunday mornings look like? What will we do on Christmas day? What will he look like when he shakes hands with my father? Will he take good care of my mother as if she were his own? What would he look like if he was holding one of my precious and adorable nieces?

Like I said, I give it way too much thought.

So I am over it.

I think that most people out there don't really think before they leap when it comes to the dating game. They just fly by the seat of their pants. Or. In most gay cases by the front of their pants. Either way. I am not that kind.

I talk to my friends. I talk to strangers. I meet people here and there and I realize. That we all just want somebody (something) to love. It is interesting to me to know people in real life and then you come across their dating profiles. You get to see their inner workings and whatnots and realize that they aren't so coldhearted and bitter afterall. The most handsome of men are still struggling to prove to the singles world that they are a catch. One guy I know has a headline that reads "NICE SEXY GUY HERE did I mention FUNNY?" That is the title of his profile. I find it interesting that he lowercased the words in between the materialistic description and that of the characteristic one. Its like he subconsciously separated the two in an attempt to make sure that people got the important parts of it "NICE SEXY" and "FUNNY".

As it turns out we are all just a bunch of pathetic losers sitting at home all alone on a Friday or Saturday night. We wish we had someone that would make us feel slightly guilty for eating an entire pizza or feel greedy for woofing down half (or a whole) carton of ice cream. Who knows if I will ever find someone with the stamina to keep my mind guessing what is next to come and make me want to wait long enough just to find out.

This most recent guy made me realize that I AM quite happy being on my own and if that is the consequence to being with someone that makes me feel less than my most best then I will take it.

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Melt

I don't think I like the word "melt" very much. It doesn't sound that great and it is almost as bad as "yeast" or "conjunctivitis". That is, I mean, as far as words go. I really don't like it. I also do not use this word on an ongoing basis and I doubt that many people out there choose to utilize it in everyday jargon either.

Yet on my most recent Facebook status update I posted this: "the rain would make me melt away so I will take a pass on this 5K". I was referring to the race that took place in my neighborhood yesterday. It was a simple and stupid post. But today when I got in to work I found an email from my long time customer crush asking, "What happened to you yesterday? Apparently you melt in the rain?"

This could not have been an ordinary coincidence could it? Are there really people out there that use the word "melt"? A friend at work commented on it saying, "Ah, your people are always using any old excuse to reference that Wizard of Oz shit". I thought it was hilarious but somewhat of an awkward musing. I don't even like Judy Garland. She is responsible for Liza Minelli.

I thought that surely he must have checked out my facebook profile in the meantime to find out that I did not run in the race. We emailed back and forth for a while and then I wrote back and asked "you must have seen on facebook that I did not run in the race?"

He said that he looked on the results postings and did not see my name listed.

This was a bit upsetting but then even still he noted that over 3,000 people ran in the race. Even though he did not stalk me out on facebook, he took the time to scan a list of 3,000 people looking for my name.

I don't know. This is a tough call. It is getting to be a bit much. I mean, a full twenty four hours went by and he could not wait to email and ask why he did not see me at the race.

It was raining really hard, I will have all you readers know. I have not done a 5K in quite some time and I had gone out for (not that many) drinks the night before so I wasn't feeling at my best. I had this feeling that if I ran in the rain (and it was cold and windy too) that I would get a cold. The weather has a way of messing with my system. So I bailed. BUT! I will have you know, that my friend called me first and he did not seem up for it either. We both agreed to back out. Then two other friends backed out and said that their friend was backing out also. This is four people BESIDES me that backed out of this race. If 3,000 others still ran in it then I can only imagine how many would have done it if it was not raining on that day.

I had mapped out this entire plan for race day. I was looking forward to not only challenging myself but also excited to see my crush in a context outside the realm of my work environment. Plus, leading up to the race he had offered to buy me a beer if the bars were not open bar as he had mentioned (which was pretty much a signing bonus for me to register for the race in the first place). So I missed out.

The back and forth emails followed suit today but then of course once things got to a certain point the emails ceased to continue. It was after I wrote and asked about facebook. Then I responded and said "That is so random. My facebook said that I would melt if I ran in the race." That is the one that I did not get a response to. We do this all the time. We emailed back and forth about 4 or 5 times today. All within 3-4 hours of each other.

Then it just stopped.

What am I to make of this?

IN OTHER NEWS...

In the meantime I am somewhat dating this guy that is a really great guy. For the last few weeks we have spent most of my free time together. But I have since grown tired of him all of the sudden. It is what I like to call the "One Month Itch". I get it every time. I start dating someone and then within a month's time my attention deficit rears its ugly head and I am over it completely. This guy is really sweet and he is almost everything I have ever thought I might want in a mate. I know that I don't have to decide right now what is to come of the two of us together but it is hard not for me to think of the long term and what the future may or may not hold, or more importantly what I would like the future to resemble.

Am I destined to be single for the rest of my life or will this one month itch slowly fade away?

Maybe I should just invest in a topical analgesic.