Schwetty Pants

It blows my mind at the amount of people in sweat pants around here.  I mean, not JUST the pants, but the tops too.  They are wearing sweat-suits!  Its disgusting.  Aside from the fact that I think everyone should be stepping it up a notch, even if just to run a few errands, it is just plain gross.  I haven't worn sweat pants since the third grade.  Once you reach a certain age there are things that are just not that attractive in sweats.  

Your penis, for one.  Although I enjoy a little man-on-man every now and then.  No one's penis looks good in sweats and for the most part the people wearing them should not be showing it off.  Do you even realize that when you wear sweats EVERYONE (including your mother) can see it poking around in there?  The worst part is that you have to realize that the people who are so brazen as to wear sweats in public are being so defiant against the world and saying "I want to be SO COMFORTABLE!" that they did not even bother to wear underwear.  They have this entire mindset that helps them become accustomed to the comfort of sweats and they even thrive off of how great they feel against the bare skin.  

This is also a time when you realize that the women in sweat-suits should be wearing SOME sort of bra.  For the most part your boobs are not just naturally perky.  Most all women need some sort of support or shaping to get them in the right places.  So if we can all acknowledge this information when we are striving to put our best breast forward, then why-oh-why are we letting them hang down underneath our armpits when we adorn our "me-so-Juicy" (Couture) sweats?

Another thing that pisses me off is grown women that can't figure out how to get rid of their panty lines.  I got a haircut yesterday and my chair faces the front desk lady.  Typically I don't mind because she smiles at me a lot and thinks that ever thing I say is the funniest thing she has ever heard in her life.  But yesterday was different.  Not only was she wearing white jeans (which should only be worn for the white party - ONCE a year) but she had OUTRAGEOUSLY noticeably panty lines.  She might as well have been wearing a jock-strap.  Then as I took a closer look I realized that it looked as though she was wearing one of those slimming body suits, or as some would call it a body girdle.  This made me even more mad.  What is the point in not being able to breath or let your stomach out all day long if your butt is going to look like folded up pancakes in your white denim capris?  

All I know is that it is a tough world out there.  And if you are one of these people beware; I'm not the only one watching.