I met this friend when I moved here. He is really fun to be around, for the most part. But all in all he is VERY immature for his age. This would be his most disappointing quality. He is 34 so you would think that me being a 27 year old who has lived a "been-there-done-that" sort of gay adult life would be ready to find someone in that age bracket who you would assume the same of. Having been there. And Done That. You would think that these two were ready to calm it down a bit.
Well, speaking on my own behalf, I am. I am tired of going out all the time. I am tired of investing time in empty conversations with guys out at bars when I know that all I will really want from them is one night of hopes and dreams fulfilled and then leave me with my thoughts and reflections in the morning.
Charlotte made this easy since it does not take long for the clubs to become tiresome or somewhat of a hassle, and they after they open they only flourish for a little while before they lose their luster. So there is no need to go out. If it is not the decor on the walls of the building it is the fixtures that are delicately placed throughout the insides. Those fixtures being the same WASPy Charloteans that you have seen at every other club opening. At every other martini bar in town (you know, the other two), and at the mall every day looking for new clothes and outfits, hoping that today will be the day that the buyers of retail fashions have decided that Charlotte, North Carolina is of the same caliber of a New York City. They are mistaken.
Big hopes. Big dreams. And a big brown mercedes sedan. They want to live the glamourous life. For the most part, so do I.
That is why, when it comes to my friends, I chose NOT to settle for less.
This one year old friendship that I have created and built upon since my year in Boston originally began is starting to lose sight of hope for a brighter future. The things that I would list here, or the things that I might chose to fight with him about in order to add space between us wouldn't even cover the most major problems with he and I together as friends. We share a different view on what friendship really entails. Although we can both admit that we are very selfish, he choses to NEVER give in, when I have acknowledged over this past year of being friends with him, that giving up the power of being right all the time is something that is inevitable with a friend that is as hard headed and selfish as myself. The problem is that when one of the two becomes the only one giving in, the balance shifts, and the original gangster loses sight of his own personal originality.
He lives in the city. I live 10 minutes outside of it. He doesn't have a car. On numerous occasions I have picked him up in my car to drive around the city, take him to IKEA, go to the movies together, or whatever else. The only times we ever spend time with one another is when I drive my happy ass into the city, using my gas money, my money for the toll (3.00 every time) and my risk of having too much to drink and driving home anyway. This is what I do for him. So when I arrive in the city I get bitched at time and time again, that I never come into the city and that I barely ever give him any time at all.
I can count on one hand how many times he has been out to my apartment since I moved here. Only 2 out of the 5 times that he has been here was I not the one that picked him up from the city to come out here. I have asked him to take the train to the closest T stop and that I would pick him up. He does not ever offer to come out here.
He makes it difficult to be friends and it winds up being a lot of hard work. Whether it is the hassle of trucking my ass into the city or the frustration of when I actually arrive to spend time with him that he is texting and making phone calls to his pieces of ass that are scattered throughout town. He lacks a total sense of decency when it comes to showing respect to your friends and their outgoing efforts. I could sit here and bitch about it all day long, but I am not the only one of his friends that complains. Everyone in his group mentions his selfishness. They all talk about how obnoxious his habits and behaviors have become, yet none of them do anything differently about it. They adore him. Despite how frustrated he makes them all. For what reason?
I can't go for that. No can do.
No comments:
Post a Comment