Way back when, I had this friend...

I've been through a lot of friendships. I've been through a lot of heartaches and hardships. When I look back on the ashes in my wake I am impressed with the few that have stuck around over the years. I'm grateful for all of the experiences I have ever had along the way. They have turned out to make me value the close friends and hold onto those relationships for as long as I can.

Way back when, I had this friend. We'll call him Frankie. He dated this guy that was really quite awful. D-Rock. That's what we'll call him. The names are not that far fetched from the truth but all-in-all I don't really care. Frankie was really self-conscious. His parents raised him to be so. His father put a lot of value in the "power" of money. Frankie was spoiled and most of the time when he would "treat" us to dinner it was his father's money, not his own. If my dad were to read this he would laugh, I had my fair share of using my father's money growing up, but the difference, is that I grew out of it. Once I moved out on my own I realized the value of money. Especially when you are the one that is supposed to be making it on your own.

Frankie would take us to dinner at Steakhouses that we would have never ventured into on our own dime. It was the first time I was ever introduced to a dinner bill that totaled over $400. Frankie would buy rounds of drinks for the entire group all night long. At our local favorite hangout he had a running tab. He pretty much just left it open for weeks at a time. Frankie drove a BMW SUV and I never really thought twice about it. I thought it was a nice car, but big deal right?

I have to admit. There was a night. A moment of weakness. Frankie and I had had a big night of drinking. There were quite a few of those. We got back to his place to spend the night and while waiting for our late night snack to cook he put on David Grey. Blah, Blah, Blah, Teardrops and Dumb. David Grey is the worst thing to listen to after a night of drinking when you are trying to wind down. But as it were, at the time, Frankie always called the shots. I sat beside him on the couch as he broke down into tears. He spoke of his fear of his father. He spoke about how all that he wanted and hoped for was that people would like him. He tried to reason with me that people only liked him because of his car and money. I thought it was hilarious. As it turned out, I was now beginning to dislike him because of his car and money. It was always the center of attention.

One week, for our Spring Break, the group went to Atlanta. It is the Southern Gay Mecca. It was my first gay visit there and it was ONE FUN WEEKEND! Matt, Frankie, Brandon...all of us went. Brandon's mom got us a deal on a huge hotel room. Otherwise it would have cost over $300 a night. That weekend we had a lot of fun. Living it up. Spending Frankie's dime. Not a care in the world.

There were the good times, though. Seriously. There were times when he was a great friend. One year for my birthday he and Adair plotted together. He came and picked me up at my apartment. I remember he was talking down to me and being rude and mean to me as he usually had been. I remember thinking that I should just get out of the car and walk back to my apartment from the gas station that we had stopped at before getting on the highway. Frankie drove us to Adair's parents house in Greensboro. Adair had said that she wanted to throw a party for me at their house since they were out of town and invite all of her friends. I had met them here and there, but I can't say in all honesty that I liked all or even most of them. So I found it awkward and I thought it was going to be another awful birthday for me.

It was just Frankie, Adair, Katie, Katie's boyfriend, and myself in the kitchen. Frankie and Adair were being weird, making phone calls and sneaking off. Then Adair brought out a bottle of Hypnotiq vodka. At the time it was my favorite because Lil'Kim said that she drank it. It is pretty gross cause it is a mix of Cognac, Vodka, and passionfruit juice. It is one of the blackest things I have ever been a part of besides drinking Kool-Aid as a child. It was a sweet sentiment nonetheless. Then they acted like we were ready to leave and as we walked down the entire driveway I saw that they had gotten me a limo for my birthday. It was the nicest gesture anyone had ever done for me on my birthday and I loved it very much. We went to our favorite little gay club in Greensboro and had a wild time, but then we left and went to a straight bar with an 80's cover band. I actually had an amazing time there as well. It was one of the most fun nights I have ever had. Adair, Frankie and myself were three of a kind and we were thick as thieves.

When Adair graduated from college her mother rented us a hotel room down on the strip at Myrtle Beach. We went down a night early and Frankie met us the next day. He rented a car and drove it to MB so as to not add mileage to his BMW. Yeah, that was Frankie.

We had a blast that weekend. The first night Adair and myself went to this bar called Motherfletchers. It is a tacky bar on the strip. They have an outside bar attached to the club and you can sit right on the sidewalk and people watch, AS YOU DRINK! It was my favorite spot. We both took turns flirting with the bartender (just for fun, he was a native). Being a Native Myrtle Beachean he would flirt with anything that talked. He was fun though. He gave us a few drinks on the house. Then we mentioned how fun it would be if we had a joint. So he gave us one. That's the glory of Myrtle Beach. Ask; Receive!

Adair and I made our way back to our hotel room. When we got back to the room the first thing we did was put on our pajamas and headed down to the beach. We had too much to drink to finish our joint. I remember us looking out on the ocean and Adair made attempts to be profound. "Isn't it weird how the ocean just moves back and forth?" she asked me. "Well, actually, it is scientifically linked with the moon and there is a just cause and reason for the tide". She was not impressed. Adair hated how I liked to prove her wrong. When Frankie was around they could team up together. They could both take turns poking fun at me, or at the least have someone else to laugh at their dumb jokes.

During another weekend in Atlanta it was the weekend of the Madonna concert. My FIRST Madonna concert and possibly one of her best. The Reinvention Tour. Adair and I had bought tickets and brought along my then sidekick, Dale. He was underage at the time but had a fake passport that said differently. For the most part Dale always acted like someone that was older. So I had to constantly remind myself that he was not, that is, unless he reminded me first. He tried very hard not to let it show. He was embarrassed of his age. But when we ventured out to a 21+ bar that night he freaked out when he saw a policeman at the door. When we were about 3 people away from him he turned to me and said "I don't know about this," right in front of the cop. I rolled my eyes. "What an idiot" I thought. Of course you shouldn't know about it now that you just bitched out right in plain sight of the officer!

Dale was not let in the club that night. Adair suggested we all just go back to the hotel and order a pizza. I thought that was dumb. I didn't spend money on a hotel room and gas on a trip to Atlanta to sit in my hotel room with my little baby brother. So in my adolescence, I chose doing what was wrong as opposed to being a good friend. I went to the club while Dale and Adair made their way back to the hotel.

In my youth that was always my way of thinking. Fuck up now, have fun, and fix it later. It was a very bad way to deal with friendships. Then again, isn't that what maturity is for? learning from those godawful mistakes?

So in the bar, instead of getting to hang out with Adair and Dale I was forced to hang out with Frankie and his boyfriend D-Rock. Frankie and my friendship had been dwindling at the time and we were at the end of our rope. So needless to say, it was not turning out to be a fun evening. I shared a cab with D-Rock and Frankie to the next bar. At the time I remember thinking that D-Rock was too old for Frankie. When we got to the next bar, and I remember, it was Jungle back then, D-Rock was excited and anxious to take his shirt off. He was fit, for his age. But then again I had to add, "for his age". If this is your reasoning for someones level of health condition, then it is needless to say that they should better leave their shirt on at the club.

On the cab ride home I was in complete hell. Frankie pouted. D-rock graveled. They argued and I had to listen. I was disgusted with contempt for Frankie. Why would he put up with someone that angered him so much? That confession on the couch summed it up for me.

My tickets for Madonna's show made it up to me anyway. I had finally trumped Frankie. I was on the floor. I was a fanclub member. Frankie's tickets were in plain sight, way up away from the floor, of our seats. He watched Adair and myself through the entire concert.

My tickets trumped Frankie's by a landslide and on our way to Atlanta, we rode in my 1990 Honda Accord. As it turns out, the best things in life are free.