His name was Andy, and at the time, he was on a mission. "It's a beautiful day outside," (one of the first of the New England "Springtime season") "and I don't want to be in here for long!" He told me he was looking to add a new suit to his wardrobe and I immediately new which one I wanted him to have. The fit was perfect. It was slimming and quite Euro, if I do say so myself. It was also a swatch that was quite distinct in and of itself. So he went with it. The tailor made their marks and off he went. It was quick, and easy, and it was over in all of 10 minutes. In the rushing of this process I had to assure him that it was a good purchase, indeed. He had never made a suiting decision in such a short amount of time but I made sure that he knew that I was confident in my choice for appropriate suiting.
When he came back to pick up his finished suit he mentioned that he wanted my assistance in picking out some ties and shirts, since I had been so helpful with the suit selection. While meandering around the Men's Furnishings department and talking about this style or the next we were at the point of ALMOST flirtation. This is an area of grey in the retail world. There is a thin line between actual and genuine flirtation and that of a great customer service story. Needless to say I am clueless when it comes to differentiating between the two.
I had no problem spending an ample amount of time with Andy. Even if most of what I picked out for him was too over the top, in his humble opinion, to wear for where he works. I understood and set out to make sure that our decisions were precise and distinct.
We enjoyed talking with one another and the exchange of useful ideas and knowledge was mutual. I could tell he was enjoying his shopping experience but at what point was he complimenting my "service" and at what point was he actually just complimenting "me". It was too soon to tell. At one point he did declare, "Wow, this is the best service I have ever had in any shopping experience, I don't think I will ever shop anywhere else again!" This was leaning towards more of an excellent customer service letter.
Then he took a phone call, he excused himself and took the call. While on the phone I overheard what sounded like the makings of a first or second date. "...well where do you want to eat? I am finishing up here in a bit but I will call you when I am done." His tone indicated that the date was NOT his most important priority and that finishing his "shopping experience" with me was in fact at the top of his list. After ending the call he apologized again for the interruption. There was a sadness in my affect that was more than likely apparent upon his return, because if you know me whatsoever, then you know I am not one to hide emotion. I was feeling let down because I figured we had reached the point in the transaction when I realize that he is straight and probably on the verge of proposing to his girlfriend that he has had since high school, or that he is in a "committed, but play" relationship with his "monogamous" boyfriend which still nullifies any preceding efforts on both of our behalves.
After apologizing, then a pause (hopefully noticing the sulking nature of my demeanor) he added, quickly, "I'm meeting my dad for dinner". I felt my eyebrows raise upon my face with anticipation of opportunity. I tried to calm down my facial muscles just the slightest bit so as not to give secrets away. I was happy to hear that he was the kind of guy that met his dad for dinner. He said that his mother was traveling and that dad was home all alone. It sounded much like that of my own relationship with my own father and in the end I was happy to think of a future with someone else who valued spending time with family.
Spending time with Andy was peaceful. I did not fear for the dangers ahead, which typically follows the time spent with any other random gay dude. The fear of a lack of commitment, the idea of non-monogamy. The fear of HIV and drug abuse. Oh what a tangled web they weave, and baby...I am nobody's Black Widow.
He has a calm nature about him and I feel warmth and sincerity in his voice. He is successful in his work and has a focus and drive to succeed and continue. He is everything that I could hope for in a mate. There is just one problem. I am a horrible flirt.
I am hoping that the solution to this problem is that he is a horrible flirt as well. I am hoping. I am praying. That both of us suck at flirting and that eventually things will just fall in to place for both of us. Time never hurt anyone and since for most of my life I have been way to anxious, this has become a situation where I do not mind to not rush head on into things that could (or could NOT) be.
It is almost fun not knowing. It is fun to think of a life that could happen. Aside from knowing that it could never be.
He came in more recently for this current sale that we have going on. We picked out another suit for him and this time mutually decided not to take as much time looking for shirts and ties. I like that he gives me push back, with reason, at the choices I pick out for him. I like that he knows a little bit about what he wants out of life, even if it is only in regards to the fashion choices that we make together concerning his own personal style. Spending time with him is absolutely delightful.
On this more recent go round I felt like we were both making flailing attempts at flirtation. He mentioned "cheating" on me while traveling to other cities that had bigger and "better" stores with more product selection. Then when ringing up the transaction he brought up his dog and mentioned that the dog's name was "Tucker" (my last name). He smiled really big. Then I said, "Oh thats a GREAT name!" His reply was, "Yeah...yeah it really is." This was how our time was spent. With inappropriate pauses and opportunistic blank spots. Was this flirtation or social retardation? I couldn't really tell you the difference. He asked me if I was working all weekend. I told him that I was off the following day. Then he asked if I had big plans. I thought this would be a great opportunity to feel him out a bit and see what his response would be, by telling him that I had a date that I was not looking forward to. Instead I said that I was having brunch with "a new friend", and would prefer to have brunch with "old friends". I mentioned the restaurant, "Gaslight" for brunch and his eyes lit up with excitement. "Oh really? I have eaten there for dinner but never for brunch."
This was one of those opportunistic pauses. I should have said, "Oh you HAVE to check it out, if you ever need some one to go with, I'm THERE!" But I didn't.
This line is officially on the back burner. When he comes in to pick up his clothes on Thursday, this will be my new plan of action. I will tell him that he really missed out on a great brunch. Then I will tell him that he has to check it out sometime and then I will offer up my company to him.
It will be neutral.
It will be Non-Committal.
It will be Non-Gender Specific.
It will be absolutely Genius.
Here's hoping I have the nuts to go through with it...
Chickenshit, Chickenshit,
Help me win,
Teach me how to flirt,
So I can begin...
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