Queen of Hearts

Four years ago, Today, I came out of the closet to both of my parents.  It feels like only a year has gone by since coming out to them but over dinner with a friend last night I did the math and realized that it has been four years to the day.  

It was Valentine's day of 2005.  I was at a friend's apartment, house and pet sitting for him and his partner.  I got the phone call from my dad, and the rest is history.  

It seems almost TOO fitting that the day I came out to them was on a holiday that centers around celebrating Love.  Since coming out to them four years ago they have done nothing but offer their love to me unconditionally.  I woke up this morning and had forgotten about the fact that FOUR YEARS have passed since that awkward weekend of way too many uncomfortable questions from my parents.  

After my usual latte I had a quick thought and figured that I should shoot them a Happy Valentine's Day email before I forgot to do so later.  Plus I like to get to them before they get to me.  (I win).

I a response from both of them.  Dad, a man of few words, reiterated "I Love you too" but my Mom however went a little further.  

The opening line of her email read "Four years ago today, you came out of the closet to us..."  It went on to talk about how much she loves me as her son.  She spoke of crushed dreams and broken hearts when realizing that the traditional white picket fence was no where in her son's future (at least not with a woman).  She talked about the pain and hurt that she had to overcome, and then went on to admit that it was time for her to come out of the closet as well (NO.  My mother is NOT a lesbian!).  She admitted that she had only shared my being gay with close friends to whom she trusted dearly, and as for others it was just not something that she talked about.  She went to lunch with two high school friends last week and decided it was time to share.  One of them was a nurse who comforted her and told her that it was something that you were born with, and not cause by parental influence (this is something that I know has always been a fear of theirs since my coming out).  Another shared that of her three sons, the youngest was gay, and then the third woman said that she thought her grandson was gay and that regardless of it he was or comes out, she would love him either way.  

This made me immensely happy to know that my mother has friends that share her struggles and can give her the comfort that she cannot get directly from me or my father.  It just seems all the more fitting to wake up on Valentine's day and realize just how much my parents love me unconditionally.