I can remember the first time that I was in the same room as her. My body was overwhelmed with excitement, anticipation, and most of all fear. That's the thing about being in love with Madonna. Fear follows your love for her wherever you go. It is scary being in love with someone so powerful. Investing so much passion and energy, all the while never knowing if she is truly good, or actually quite bad.
My adoration for her has been going on since I was a child. I can't really explain it exactly but when asked I say it is because I admire strong women. Aside from the crazy stunts she has pulled or the ridiculous ways that she has chosen to seek attention, the one thing that Madonna kept consistent throughout all of it was a high self esteem. She kept her head up. Even if in Truth or Dare or "I'm Going to Tell you a Secret" you get to see a glimpse at the sad reality that she is just a whirling dervish without true focus, at least she made great songs about having confidence.
Don't go for second best, put your love to the test, Express Yourself.
If they can't raise my interest, then I'll have to let them Be-e, Material Girl.
I don't know. It just seems like her songs had an undertone of flirtatious passion.
Loving Madonna through my adolescence was mirrored by my being in the closet. Madonna was the gayest thing about me (besides my voice and the way that I threw a baseball) yet I still wanted to keep as much a secret as possible. So it came as no surprise, to everyone but me of course, when my friend Lindsey suggested we go to Madonna's Drowned World Tour. It was officially the first tour that I would have been able to go to on my own. The one before it would have been the Girlie Show and there were MANY MANY years in between the two.
It was a great idea when I look back. I had more money to waste then than I do now since my dad was depositing money into my bank account left and right that was solely being used for grass and alcohol so why didn't I go?
I was actually afraid. I was scared that there would be lots of gay guys at the concert that would make me feel uncomfortable because they were out and I was not. I was scared that I would like it. I was scared that I might spontaneously come out of the closet if I was around all of them. I can remember this fear. I was also afraid that if I bought tickets and actually went to the show that people would REALLY start to think I was gay (aside from them already knowing I was all along). So I didn't go. I missed out. It was a badass show, I have it on DVD.
The first show I actually ever saw was the ReInvention Tour. This was an amazing show. It was one of the most incredible things I have ever seen in my life. I took my friend Adair. She is my best friend, and soul mate. We saw her in Atlanta, and had floor seats. This was because of my handy work of hard work and preparation by joining the Madonna fan club and getting to buy presell tickets. I sat at the computer 5 minutes and counting before the hour struck at which the presell began.
When I submitted my order and the seat section came up I was confused. We only paid 165 for the tickets each and from the look of it they were on the floor. I was in disbelief until we gave our tickets to the usher and he took us down to the floor. It was unbelievable that my FIRST MADONNA show would be ON THE FLOOR.
There was this huge contraption above the stage in the shape of a V that would come down and connect to the stage. Madonna and her dancers would spend various songs dancing and trotting down the isles of the V until reaching the point which was about 10 feet above my head. I made eye contact with Madonna throughout the entire show and she even gave me the finger during American Life. Adair and I held hands during Crazy for You when Madonna dedicated it to her fans. I cried during all the ballads. I sang every song. I went to the bathroom when Madonna showed pictures of Afghani children during the cover of John Lennon's "Imagine". No one should EVER cover this song (especially Madonna - well, actually Jack Johnson did a version that I really really like, but NOT MADONNA).
Before we headed into the arena for the show when we got out of the cab there were protesters with signs. They yelled at us "Turn, or BURN!" and waved Bibles in our faces. This could not have been a better Pep Rally for what was about to begin. As I mentioned before, fear is a constant in the midst of loving Madonna. After hearing that we would all burn in Hell and taking our seats in the arena the lights went down and the stage lit up, the show was about to begin. The video screens came on and an ominous baseline filled the speakers as Madonna's voice came over head. She was reading from the book of Revelation from the Bible, which to date, is the scariest story ever told. For a split second I thought, for sure, I am on my way to hell now, just as those protesters had mentioned. I felt as though this was wrong, and that I should leave. Then the screens parted ways and the lights went from dark to bright as Madonna came up from the stage..."Strike a pose"...She did a Yoga headstand and then it hit me. All my life I have danced in my room to her music. I have learned all of her dance moves and I was her backup dancer for Halloween. Finally, I was in the SAME ROOM as Madonna. Energy surged through my body and I felt electric. I lost my voice when it was over. We left the arena covered in sweat.
I know a place where you can get away, its called the dancefloor,
and here's what its for...
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